Hello Reader,

Last week, I went to see a psychic.

It was the end of a long Artist Date, something I try to do once a week ever since I devoured Julia Cameron's Artist Way. If you aren't familiar, an Artist Date is when you intentionally do an activity that is fun and creative, to feed your inner creative.

On this date, I'd gotten a haircut, eaten some tacos on the harbor, and visited my favorite art museum.

That is my kind of self-care, so I was in an exceedingly good mood when I saw the sign for the 7-Moon Psychic. I felt a tug to go in and have a tarot reading.

Perhaps you are rolling your eyes right now. That's fine --- I myself am a skeptic, but I also like to collect data. I see a tarot reading as one datapoint among the many that influence my life.

Or at least that's what I tell myself. I was not prepared for what this particular tarot reader had to say.

She was a short, blonde woman, about my age (in her late 30s). She had a thick Boston accent and pronounced her t's like d's.

I remember this, because as she did the reading in the tiny little room above an Italian restaurant, she kept saying, "I don't want to be blunt..." with a hard d on the end.

Then she would proceed to say something devastatingly blunt.

This was not what I was expecting. Part of the reason I was open to a reading is because I have been making changes in my life that feel good, and I wanted cosmic reassurance that I was on the right path.

I wanted her to lay down the Ten of Cups and The Fool and other cards that signified positive life changes and new adventures.

Instead, she said the message from the cards was clear, and it boiled down to this:

"You have too much self-doubt to take full advantage of the opportunities coming your way."

That felt like a gut-punch. I immediately got defensive, even tried to argue with her. "I've been working on self-doubt for years," I pleaded. "I've made so much progress."

"That may be," she said. "But the cards say there's still work to go."

After the reading, we started talking about work, and it turns out she needs help with SEO. So no joke, I'm going back to see her for a longer reading, and in exchange, I'm going to help her make some improvements to her web presence.

Clients are everywhere when you are always looking for them. But that's beside the point.

For a few days after the reading, I was in a spiral.

I couldn't stop thinking about her claim that self-doubt was blocking me from prosperity.

And usually, when I get defensive and can't stop thinking about something, it's because there's some truth to it.

After a few meditation sessions and long conversations with friends, I realize that yes, indeed, I do still have plenty of self-doubt. Even though I've made huge improvements in the course of my freelance career, those insidious voices are still there.

I have doubt about my social interactions. (Surly I'm awkward. People must think I'm rude.)

I have doubt about my appearance. (I have no sense of style. I'm single because of how I look.)

I have doubt about my work. (How can you mentor others when you're still dealing with so much self-doubt?)

Self-doubt has been a companion of mine my entire life. I have dedicated a lot of time trying to find the root causes of these beliefs and change my thinking about them.

But it's not easy, and the work is not done.

The tarot reader perhaps had a lucky guess, maybe she could read the self-doubt on my face, or maybe my Mom's spirit was whispering into her ear.

Either way, I know she's right about something else too:

Self-doubt blocks opportunities. It's impossible to know what incredible things we miss out on because we secretly believe, "I'm not good enough. I don't deserve that."

I wish I had a neat and tidy process or some incredible hacks for quickly overcoming self-doubt. If I discover one, I'll write about it.

But I do know that the first step to quelling self-doubt is to recognize it and call it out.

Only then can you start to question the doubt, determine its origin, watch it crumble away, and replace it with a healthier, more helpful thought.

That is what meditation does for me, but I still needed a reminder, from the tarot reader, her cards, or the cosmic powers that be.

And now, I'm calling out my self-doubt here in this newsletter, because self-doubt is much easier to deal with if you know you aren't alone in dealing with it.

I can tell you, in the years that I've been mentoring freelancers, self-doubt is as much a part of this working style as invoices and emails.

Even with my own doubt-demons to reckon with, I derive so much joy helping other freelancers transform their self-doubt into empowerment (and moolah).

I'm curious, what kinds of self-doubt are you dealing with? I promise it's easier to deal with if you share it. You can reply to this email, or any email I send you, any time.

Until next time.

- Liam

PS Maybe it's self-doubt holding you back. Maybe there's something else that's keeping your freelance business from reaching new heights. One way to find out? Book a free 20-minute freelance business coaching session with me, and we can get to the root of it together. ☎️